Finding Opportunities in Life’s Transitions | Season 2, Episode 8

Audio Upload | May 29, 2024 9:26 AM
May 29, 2024 • 9:10 AM – 9:28 AM • Janelle Conner • Audio Upload

Greg Weimer 00:04
Hello and welcome to the Imagine that podcast. I’m your host, Greg Weimer, founder, partner and wealth manager at Confluence Financial Partners. Each month, we’ll explore new ways to help you maximize your life and your legacy and meet some extraordinary people along the way. So if you’re looking to get more out of your life today and legacy tomorrow, let’s get started.

Katie Montagazzi 00:26
Thanks, everybody, for joining us. I have Greg here, and this is Katie Montagazzi, director of marketing here at Confluence. And we thought today we would talk about. Let me back up a little bit. Working with clients and families, there’s been a common theme within our business of helping people and families navigate transitions, whether that be career transitions, having a challenging loss in the family. There’s several. And I think that we have discovered that there’s sort of, I don’t want to call it a framework, but Greg has some insight on navigating transitions that I think could be helpful for our audience to listen in on.

Katie Montagazzi 01:10
So Greg, I don’t know if you want to start off with just sharing. You referenced the river of change a lot, which I think is a great opening. So if you could share about that.

Greg Weimer 01:17
I do. I think first of all, it’s constant. River life really is a series of transitions. It’s a series of changes and I don’t know how the listeners feel, but I feel like the transitions and the changes that we go through, the rate is increasing. Like the world really is changing rapidly and we’re going through transitions and, you know, really navigating or having the courage to accept a change that’s an opportunity or how do you have the resilience to really go through a change in a transition? That’s a challenge. You said the word challenge.

Greg Weimer 01:55
So two very different types of transitions, but really thinking how to navigate them individually for a family or for a business. We change a lot. Innovate. We try to add more value, but it still represents change, and we need to really think about how we do that.

Katie Montagazzi 02:18
That’s interesting. I think I want to segment them into two things, but there are transitions that you don’t have control of, that you haveto manage.

Greg Weimer 02:26
You control how you handle them though, right?

Katie Montagazzi 02:28
How you work through them, how you handle them. And then there’s challenges or opportunities, I should say, that are more decisions.

Greg Weimer 02:34
Right. And by the way, I’m saying even the ones that are challenges, I’m not saying they’re easy. Like, you need help and you need a team to get through them. But really thinking through how you’re handling those challenges is important. And then you’re right on the other side of the equation is opportunities. But how we handle transitions, in my opinion, has a huge impact on where we end up and our overall happiness.

Katie Montagazzi 03:01
So how do you, we keep saying the river of change, but it really is visual. Yeah. So how do you end up on the other side of the river or. You could end up in the current, just going down the stream and worst place.

Greg Weimer 03:14
Yeah. So the river of change. And we talk about a lot in here, and it helps us help each other get to the other side, and then as soon as we get to the other side, we create another river or there’s multiple rivers going on. So if you’re listening, here’s the picture I want you to think about. You’re on side a of the river of change. You’re on a bank. You’re comfortable, you’re happy.

Greg Weimer 03:33
Business is good. Life is good. You don’t need to change anything. You’re content. But we know as human beings, if we don’t push ourselves to grow, we actually do erode. So while you feel really good on that bank of that bank a, you could get stale. There’s a river, and you know you want to get to the other side.

Greg Weimer 03:53
And the other side is beautiful. Wonderful. It’s fabulous. It’s happiness. It’s the change you want to make. And in between you a, where you are and b, where you want to go. Euphoria.

Greg Weimer 04:04
Wonderful, better, whatever. Better health, whatever that is. You realize in between there’s a river. And you start on that river and maybe for the first couple days, or you feel good because your feet are still on the ground, you’re feeling good. And then you get in the middle. And I think you said this to me yesterday, someone said, are you swimming? Because when you get in the middle, your feet are off the ground.

Greg Weimer 04:29
You’re no longer, you’re treading water. You’re treading water and you feel funny. And a lot of people, if they don’t have someone beside them to help them or willpower to really understand how great the other side is, you will be inclined to do one of two things. You either go back or you push through. Someone helps you. Your courage, your willpower takes you to the other bank, and you start to feel a little more comfortable as your feet get under you again. And then you get to the other side.

Greg Weimer 04:57
And that exercise of doing that really does build your muscle of learning how to change. So not only did you conquer that river of change, but that muscle, that skill set. Helps. I would argue strongly to be a successful organization, for us to remain relevant to our clients, we need to have the courage to go through the river of change together. We need to work through it and push to the other side. What a lot of people do, that you got to be a risk, be careful of. You get out in the middle and you just go with the current.

Greg Weimer 05:28
You’re going to end up somewhere you don’t even control. You just like you go. Life just takes you through a series of events. You don’t have any willpower, and so you just end up somewhere you don’t even want to be as an organization. And pretty soon, there was a general, I think, like 20 years ago ago, he said, if you don’t like change, you’re going to like your relevance a lot less. But I think that happens to businesses, right? Businesses no longer sit in how we always talk about how do we add value, how do we add value, how do we add massive value to clients.

Greg Weimer 05:59
But you have to be willing to transition your business. You have to be willing to change. You have to be willing. To innovate.

Katie Montagazzi 06:07
So when you say, is the other side big enough, do you have willpower? What do you mean by that?

Greg Weimer 06:11
You got a big why? If your why, why? This is from Tony Robbins, but he said, and I’ll cite something else from him also, but if your why is big enough, you’ll figure it out if you’re setting up and you gotta be emotional about it. So, like, I wanna get in shape because. Blank, whatever. I wanna get in shape because I love my six grandchildren and I, and I really want to watch my six grandchildren get married, and I want to have the health to be on the dance floor, and I want to be the guy dancing and enjoying their wedding. And if I don’t get in shape, that’s a why it’s got to be emotional.

Greg Weimer 06:43
You got to really create why do you want to do it? And it’s Tony, if your why is big enough, you’ll figure out how to do it. And it’s really important that you, when you’re trying to go through a transition, that’s a challenge or it’s an opportunity. When you’re going through an opportunity, you really got to think through why. Why are you doing it?

Katie Montagazzi 07:00
Yeah, I think this is important to note, too. There’s a difference. I don’t know if it was you or Tony Robbins or who, but there’s a difference between goals and dreams. 100% goals are, you know, I’ll lose five pounds, I’ll lose ten pounds if dreams are something you’ll get ****** for. So when you say you’re Martin Luther.

Greg Weimer 07:13
King, I had a dream, not I had a goal, right?

Katie Montagazzi 07:15
So it sounds cheesy and it sort of is, but it’s real. So on the other side of that, the river is your story, what you focus on for the future. It’s a dream, it’s not a goal, right?

Greg Weimer 07:26
So I think of goals as like, one dimensional and quantitative. A dream is a movie. Like a dream, you have to see it, you have to fill it, you have to taste it, you have to have as many senses filling that goal as possible or that dream as possible. And then it moves from your head to your heart and you create a why to it, and you’re more likely to accomplish it.

Katie Montagazzi 07:50
So if you do, I mean, maybe there’s some people listening that they are kind of like, I’m in the current. I’ve been in the current for the last 510, 20 years. Any thoughts on helping create what’s on the other side, what’s on the other side and how they can get there. If that kind of stuff. Yeah.

Greg Weimer 08:04
Put your head in the refrigerator, go listen to loud music, change your state. Like, you gotta change your state. We talk about that a lot in there.

Katie Montagazzi 08:09
That’s actually really important.

Greg Weimer 08:10
It’s really important.

Katie Montagazzi 08:11
I need people to know what you’re talking about when you say that, though.

Greg Weimer 08:14
Yeah. So, like, your physical state. And again, this comes from. Whether you listen, Ed, my lad, Tony Robbins, you know, whoever they are, it’s all some version of, you got to change your state. The state you’re in. When you put together your goals, the state you’re in, or strategic coach, they’re all fabulous and they all say. The state you’re in.

Greg Weimer 08:35
So the mindset. Right. The mindset you’re in is so important. If you could do one thing throughout the day, if you want to be great at transitions, manage your state. That could be at 02:00 when you’re feeling a little slow, go for a walk. That could mean I don’t have time for drop and do ten push ups. That could mean turn on loud music.

Greg Weimer 08:57
I make sure when I come into the office in the morning, my state’s pretty crisp, so I listen to music in the morning, I have a certain routine that I do. So when I get in here, my state is right. And then throughout the day, we’re all human. Our state can get a little off. So you really, really, really need to manage your state. That takes a burst. First something.

Greg Weimer 09:19
And so change the temperature, walk outside, jump in the pool. You gotta do something to change your state.

Katie Montagazzi 09:27
Yeah, I think a good example of that is a lot of people say they think or they think more. They’re more creative when they’re in the shower. 100%. Not to be weird, but it’s because you relax. Your state is relaxed.

Greg Weimer 09:36
Not that it’d be a great invention. If you put, like a grease board in the shower. That was you do because you’re relaxed. You’re in a state. You’re in a positive state. Right. Your state.

Greg Weimer 09:47
The first thing you have to do is get in the right state then. And this is from all of them, everybody. Tony Robbins. The story you tell yourself is so **** important. The story you tell yourself is true. You better be really careful of the story you’re telling yourself because it’s going to be true. Right?

Greg Weimer 10:09
So, you know, people say, oh, I hate getting old. I love getting old. Like I’m getting older. It’s a blessing. Not everybody gets that privilege. Like the story, I can’t do it. I’m doomed.

Greg Weimer 10:18
Eeyore. It’s true. You can’t and you won’t. So the story you tell yourself, and I’m not saying raw, raw stuff. I’m just saying that you are, you are, you are going to train your brain to think a certain way. And what you dwell on, you multiply. And if you want to make change or you want to go through a transition, if you keep telling yourself, I’m tired, I can’t do it, I’m stressed, it is all true.

Greg Weimer 10:45
Yep. That’ll be your ad. If you say, I’m fired up, I’m thankful. If you express gratitude and you tell your, you tell yourself a different story, the outcomes will be dramatically different. Right.

Katie Montagazzi 10:58
Yeah. Satan’s story.

Greg Weimer 11:00
And then strategy and strategy. So then, yeah, and I have a coach is out of London. We just went through this in me. So now your strategy. So, like, what are you going to do about it? You know, I mean, we can certainly be in the clouds and dream about the other side of the bank, but at some point, you got to take that stroke, right? At some point, you got to know your next steps.

Greg Weimer 11:18
At some point, you have to say, okay, here’s the next three things I need. Don’t overthink it. Don’t think about, you know, but there’s three things you need to do right away and having some sense of urgency and some sense of strategy. But if you’re in a bad mood and you’re in a bad state and you’re telling yourself you’re doomed and you have a bad story, your strategy just doesn’t matter.

Katie Montagazzi 11:42
Yeah, good luck.

Greg Weimer 11:43
But I’m going to tell you right now, if you have the right state, peak problem. Crisp. If you tell yourself a story not embedded in, like, fiction, but fact, a lot of the stories we tell ourselves to make it, they’re not true. It’s just what we convince ourselves so you can do it, and you tell yourself a positive story, and you have your real, clear vision of why you want that story. And then the strategy is possible. But if you don’t get the first two right, the strategy just doesn’t matter. But when you get.

Greg Weimer 12:17
I don’t know. I think our organization has become pretty good at going through transitions because we understand how the needs of families, from when I started the business in 1986, of just buying people’s stocks and bonds, looking at the portfolio, to looking at their state plan, tax planning, family planning, all the things we do for people, philanthropy. Right. When I think about all the stuff we do today versus the technology AI, I mean, like, we looked at how the technology about that this morning that we use, it’s mind boggling. So. But when you think about what we had to do to get here from 1996, selling someone 100 shares of IBM stock, it’s been a lot of rivers of change, and it’s been a lot of transitions, and I’ve loved it. Like, I think we’re in our fun.

Greg Weimer 13:07
It’s kind of fun.

Katie Montagazzi 13:08
Yeah.

Greg Weimer 13:09
And, you know, there’s moments where we look at each other and say, with, like, the new technology we had today, look at each other and go, okay, I’m sweet women with that thing. But at the other side is a really good spot for us and a really good spot for our clients.

Katie Montagazzi 13:21
Yeah. So it’s sort of a bonus question, but. Okay, say you are on the other side. You’re on the other side of the river. You swam through it, you got through it. You’re realizing your dream. There are some people that I think you just explained, confluence kind of has done this.

Katie Montagazzi 13:33
How do you successfully say, okay, here’s the other side of the river. We’re heading towards, like, next one. Yeah. What drives the.

Greg Weimer 13:38
Okay, here’s what I don’t do well, here’s what I would just encourage everyone to do. Give yourself a high five when you get to the other side. So first, like, really enjoy the fact that you just accomplished something. Too many people go to the next river and they never have the celebration. Yep. And I’m one of those people. I’m paranoid that we’re not giving me the next river.

Greg Weimer 13:55
So, first of all, give yourself a high five. And then second, I think you have to take a step back and you have to anticipate. So I think, like, I think our responsibility to our clients is anticipating not only answering what they’re asking us to do for them, but anticipate what they may need in five years and then taking that next river. So saying, okay, so we think the families we serve could potentially want this iPad, which no one ever asked for. You have to anticipate what they’re going to need and want in the future, and you have to take on that next river. And it’s a series.

Katie Montagazzi 14:33
Yep. And it never ends. If you want to remain relevant, I’ll say that.

Greg Weimer 14:37
And I would say, like, people, it can sound exhausting, but. The people I find that are the happiest, that have the most energy, are focused on improvement, and they are convinced their best days are ahead. So the people that are status quo, happy. I didn’t need to change my business since 1986. I’m good. I would argue they are less healthy, less happy. So I’m not saying you change for change sake.

Greg Weimer 15:13
I’m saying you have to be willing to innovate to keep up with the times and stay relevant. And if you do, my sense is you’re probably a little more upbeat of a person.

Katie Montagazzi 15:24
Absolutely. Not to use the analogy again, but if you’re constantly swimming, you’re going to have different muscles than people that aren’t swimming.

Greg Weimer 15:29
You do. You just get like, I think we as an organization have gotten, we’ve become pretty good, absorbing new technology, new knowledge, new expertise.

Katie Montagazzi 15:42
I will say one more thing too and you touched on this but I think it is really important to have the support people with you in the water because I think a lot of people here at confluence would say we wouldn’t have gotten to this if it wasn’t for this team or this person or everybody the culture in general. So it’s super important to understand who you’re surrounding yourself with, who your network is, who you’re letting influence you. You sort of protect that a little bit and.

Greg Weimer 16:05
I think it’s I’m 59. I think it’s in Katie’s in her early thirties. I think it’s really credit to the team that we’ve built you and the other people your age because candidly you guys have been wonderful at this. So our millennials are rock stars so I have great confidence in our firm for a long time because you guys really have helped a lot of people across to the other side and. I think as an organization, it’s important we continue to hire people that are inquisitive, that have a lot of energy, and have a growth mindset. So I will put our next generation of people up against any other. And I think that really helps us stay relevant to the families we serve, not only for the generation that are my age, but the next generation also.

Greg Weimer 16:55
Yes, very important. And that transition, which I’m not going, and I’ll be here 15 more years, but that transition, as our firm, from one generation to another, is really important also for us to think about.

Katie Montagazzi 17:08
Yep. That was great. Thank you. Yeah. We just said the river of change transitions seems to be a common topic with clients, associates, and just wanted to have you share some wisdom from that.

Greg Weimer 17:21
Yeah. And we look forward to having those conversations. We talk to a lot of families that are going through transitions. We talk to a lot of business owners that are going through an exit and they’re selling their business. How did they do that transition? How do we prepare for the transition of wealth? Unfortunately, sometimes the transitions we go to are challenges, not opportunities, but we help families through those also.

Katie Montagazzi 17:44
Yeah, absolutely. So we’re open to conversations. We look forward to them. Thanks, Greg. Yeah. Thanks, Greg.